Have you ever had the experience of going about your day and somebody says something to you and seemingly out of nowhere you are irritated… and want them to go away, or you leave as soon as you can?
Recently I had this experience twice in a day and was confounded as to what exactly happened. I was annoyed by the interactions, and didn’t want to talk about it. One of the times was witnessed, and in the de-briefing afterwards, there was more irritation and a compulsion to blame the person in the original incident, which quickly spread to the de-briefer, who was equally annoying for bringing it up and making me feel ‘bad’ again.
Subsequently I had the honour of spending the day in meditation with a group of souls who are committed to freeing themselves fromthe life of imprisonment they inhabit according to the stories they make up about themselves. Insights were flowing for all of us, and we celebrated these moments together at the end of the day.
One of mine was about the nature of attachment and projection. I realised that when attachment arises – ie when you are in a situation you don’t like and fervently wish was different, it is a beautiful gift! Those uncomfortable feelings are the gift wrapping, indicating there is treasure inside that wants to be discovered. It is as though there is a neon sign flashing saying “look at me”. If you are able to pay attention to it, and unwrap it, there is a message for you. Perhaps it is telling you about person who annoyed you. It might be asking you to look and see what is really getting up your nose. Look closely, it says. Recognise anything here?
I saw that one of my irritating interactions was with someone who said something that I judged to be rigid and uncompromising. Upon closer examination I saw that I had started it by saying something similar except I could fool myself otherwise because my style of delivery is quite different. That is a projection, I see something I don’t like about myself in someone else and blame them for it. As for the content, the intention behind what we both said was the same – this is the way, period. When really, all we have are our opinions, our points of view about life, and there isn’t only one answer… so therefore no one has it, especially me. Of course.
The second experience happened on the same day – almost like a birthday, so many gifts! That was about me feeling out of sorts and expressing my concerns – kind of like whining – and someone I didn’t know at all simply said that the circumstance I was describing was inaccurate. (Excuse me? I know what I am complaining about, I am entitled to do it, and shame on you for making me feel bad.) That is how it went. How dare someone I don’t even know interrupt my story about how difficult it is?
It is these stories and constructs that keep us shackled to old patterns and ways of being. They are not real, they are not who we are, we are simply familiar with them, and it gets attention, but unfortunately the worst kind, and we remain stuck.
So, when you are activated by someone, or something which puts you on edge, makes you feel alone, unheard, misunderstood… don’t get discouraged, it’s good news. Something is calling to you. Look deeper as soon as you can, it might well be a gift box, inside of which is a piece of you that wants to be seen and released. Once witnessed and acknowledged, it won’t disappear overnight, but once you are on to it, it is easy to catch on to, recognise and notice. Another step forward in living the new paradigm!
When you need assistance, please do not hesitate to call and make an appointment to come and see me.
Blessings and love,
Integration Coach/Public Speaker/
Knowledge Exchange Broker
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." Rumi